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Joke of the Day
"How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery."
Next Joke
"How is the porn industry different from every other career? It's the only job where you have to stay late if you come early."
"What kind of watch does Germs Bond wear? An Amoeba."
"I had an arguement with a philosophy major I told him NO, I don't want avocado on my footlong!"
"Did you hear the one about the girl with a seashell tattoo on her inner thigh? If you put your ear up next to it, you can smell the ocean."
"Bank robbers give a bad name to people who just want to deposit their check with a mask on."
"How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums? Algorithm."
"""Every child's a gift."" ""Your 'gift' is eating his own boogers right now."" ""..."" ""I hope you saved the receipt."""
"Let your girlfriend know how much you love her by screeching loudly like a pterodactyl whenever she talks."
"I should have made a website called www.reallydontfit.com and posted all the pics of fat chicks wearing skinny clothes this weekend. @MaleHonesty86"