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Joke of the Day
"Why didn't the gunpowder plot work? Because gunpowder is black."
Next Joke
"When life handed Chuck Norris lemons, he made chocolate pudding."
"What did the doctor say to the cancer patient? You have tumor months to live."
"What do you mean will I eat a whole rotisserie chicken? What do I look like, a guy who doesn't eat whole rotisserie chickens?"
"Somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen that said 'Parking Fine'."
"You think the dozen roses on my toilet tank are there to mask odor? Read the card: ""Dear toilet. I'm so sorry for all the shit I've done..."""
"A surface topologist sits in a coffee shop thinking deeply about his research... he takes a sip from his doughnut."
"I asked my dog if he'd ever heard of Pavlov He said, ""I can't say for sure, but the name rings a bell."""
"*stares into distance* Distance: Please stop staring. It's rude."
"Have you ever eaten at that Ethiopian restraunt? There portions are like..nothing."