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Joke of the Day

"FACEBOOK: Hey, remember me? I'm a girl you met in college, in that one class. We never really talked. Anyway, here's 97 pictures of my baby."

"How do you make a little girl cry twice. You rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear."

"[From Basement]: *scary murdery noise* Me: oh shit Me: *makes slightly more scary more murdery noise* [From Basement]: Oh shit"

"Some people say I have a very short attention spanish is a very beautiful language."

"Why isn't Half-Life 3 coming out? Because 2 Half-Lives = 1 whole life."

"I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week. Well we had to you know she was dead."

"Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there..."

"Can Confirm. It's raining in South Carolina."

"For as long as I can remember... ...I have had memories"

"How do you drown a blonde? Stick a scratch and sniff to the bottom of a pool."