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Joke of the Day

"For the record, riding my unicycle to the bank robbery was a terrible idea."

"For Sale : Used Facebook account ~ get up to the minute weather forecast, religious counseling and countless pictures of Jenny's cat."

"What do you call a Magician's dog? A Labracadabrador."

"What did the doctor say to the man who walked off the roof of his house? I don't think you understand the gravity of the situation."

"What's better than roses on a piano... Tulips on an organ. Let me know if you get it. I'm not gonna lie it took me a couple minutes when a co-worker told me this. Creds: J-mans old man."

"*Kanye West's dating show* 10 women stand in front of me and I only have 9 roses. BUT WAIT... They're all for me *Kanye wins dating show*"

"What does fucking your girlfriend and cooking an egg in the microwave have in common?"

"A coworker wouldn't stop bragging about her upcoming trip to Hawaii, so I emailed her a bunch of pictures of plane crashes."

"Why was Six afraid of Seven? Because Seven is a convicted felon and it is clear that prison life wasn't easy on him. It doesn't help that Six is, naturally, a little timid."

"So a polar bear walks into a bar... and says, ""I'll have a gin.....and tonic"" The bartender says, ""What's with the big pause?"" And the polar bear says, ""Oh, I've always had them."""