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Joke of the Day
"I believe we should all pay our taxes with a smile I tried, but they wanted cash"
Next Joke
"WIFE: you're so overly dramatic ME: no i'm not [10 hired backup singers burst through the wall shouting ""no he's not""] dammit guys, not now"
"Nan, what is death? Nan? NAN? .."
"What type of train gets fat? A chew chew train..."
"Life's too short for 1-ply friends. You need people who can handle your shit."
"I'm gonna sell my vacuum cleaner. It's just collecting dust"
"I'm very pleased with my new fridge magnet. So far I've got twelve fridges."
"Just got unfollowed by exorcist scary looking lady with crazy eyes who has ""will get in cars with strangers"" in her bio. I'm hiding........"
"TIL that soldiers in Vietnam ate small amounts of C4 plastic explosive to get high. No wonder the US defense budget blew up so quickly."
"2014: lost 10 lbs, saved $135, ate $135 worth of candy, gained 10 lbs"