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Joke of the Day
"Why is sonic the answer to every google search? Because he shows up the fastest."
Next Joke
"Philosophical porn Person 1: Hey, why don't you watch philosophical porn? Person 2: Eh, it only appeals to a very Nietzsche fanbase."
"The best thing after an intensive argument is the reconciliation sex... ...but boy, do I hate to argue with my in-laws."
"What comes in pints? elephants"
"Did you hear about the drug dealer with arthritis? He had bad joints."
"The executioner let me tie my own noose He said I'm getting the hang of it."
"Why is Edward Snowden stuck in Russia? Because he's snowed-in"
"The Queen is what she drinks... Royalty [ I hope this isn't a repost. I thought of it on my own]"
"My VW Beetle can't deliver when I want a ""GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY"" honk. It's all, ""Hi! Let's get a latte after you move just a smidge!"""
"Before I go to bed, I like to take a bath and than listen to Single Ladies. Its my own Bed, Bath and Beyonce."