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Joke of the Day

"I was told water cooling a computer would make it faster So I threw my laptop into a pool, and now I never have to see a loading screen again!"

"I'm at work for another hour and my phone's at 14%. If I don't make it to the end of the day, tell all my friends, ""Not much u"""

"Obama's reaction to NSA scandal ""This technology means spies will never have to use windows ever again."""

"None of my coworkers get why I have fishbowl with no fish. It's because fish can't survive in my secret reservoir of vodka."

"I went in to hospital for an operation... I asked the anaesthetist if I could administer the needle myself, and he said: ""Sure, knock yourself out""."

"Whats the difference between in-laws and outlaws? Outlaws are wanted"

"How do you make an English Muffin blush? You nook at its crannies."

"I wonder what song The Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make that cute bikini top"

"My stalker twisted his ankle, so now I have to walk slower for 2-3 weeks."

"I decided to jerk off right in front of my blind girlfriend last night She didn't see it coming."