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Joke of the Day

"I wonder what song The Little Mermaid was singing when she viciously ripped a clam in half to make that cute bikini top"

"I went to see my doctor to get my prostate checked. He gave me the thumbs up."

"My Boss asked me to put two pieces of wood together... I nailed it! My friend Steve figured I would of screwed it up."

"8 out of 10 men prefer not to date psychotic women with bad tempers, emotional baggage and daddy issues. To the other two.... Hi, I'm MJ"

"It's ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too."

"There was a devastating fire in my shoe shop. So many lost Soles."

"9: Have you seen my harmonica? [flashback to me smashing it with a hammer] me: Did you look under your bed?"

"There are three kinds of people in this world People who know math and people who don't."

"If Pluto isn't a planet because it's too small... then do you really have a penis?"

"A cowboy goes into a shop to buy condoms Cowboy: ""Give me 3 packets of condoms, please."" Cashier: ""Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?"" Cowboy: ""Nah.. She's purty good lookin'....."""