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Joke of the Day
"What's Nu? Frequency."
Next Joke
"Why do people from Finland who lack passports never win? ...they can't cross the Finnish line!"
"Want to hear about the worst blowjob I ever had? It was awesome"
"TIL that 1 in every 10 people in North America lives next door to a pedophile. Not me. I live next door to a smoking hot 8 year old."
"What did the goldsmith say when he stubbed his toe? Au"
"ME: gimme a double BARMAN: [places an exact replica of me on the bar] ME: no I meant a double Scotch BARMAN: [puts a kilt on my replica]"
"I can take two pieces of rope eat them wait an hour then shit them out tied together.... I shit you knot... ha shit you knot"
"You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad."
"*on my deathbed* *groggy, dazed, & delirious* Me: I wonder if my TC ever really loved me? Wife: Honey, what's a TC? Me: *pulls plug*"
"I started flossing again recently to remove food from between my teeth I never realized just how much blood I was eating"