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Joke of the Day

"Want to hear about the worst blowjob I ever had? It was awesome"

"A guy is talking with his friend Edward... ...and asks him: -What do dead and black people have in common? -Well, I don't know. -They both get a rest, Ed."

"Examine the shadows around my eyes. They speak of loss, of longing, of doom. Also, I buy mascara at the dollar store."

"*Wife blows me a kiss from across the room* *I pretend to catch it* *I walk over to the window and toss it outside* ""Grow up Karen"""

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a table? You can't fuck a table."

"Did you hear they had to shutdown Japan's first virtual reality porn exhibition? Too many people came."

"A Cuban just arrived on a raft... And is being interviewed when they ask him Name? ""Manolo"". Sex? ""Two to three times a week"" No,no i mean Male or Female? ""Well whatever I can get that week"""

"What I want In A Man (NSFW)"

"I'm told I sleep like a baby. ... I wake up crying every few hours"

"[at Goodwill store] *buys pants that I gave them 6 months ago*"