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Joke of the Day

"I started flossing again recently to remove food from between my teeth I never realized just how much blood I was eating"

"YOU ARE GROUNDED!!!! ~ me, yelling hilarious shit at the beef in this grocery store."

"LEAVE ME ALONE GRANDMA I'M ENTERTAINING LITERALLY TENS OF PEOPLE ON THE INTERNET"

"What were the Zodiac Killer's Plans for Vacation? To take a Cruz."

"How are fat girls and mopeds similar? They are fun to ride, but you don't want your friends to find out."

"Seeing your ex go through what they put you through. Priceless.."

"I'm gonna cook tons of bacon, crush it up and sell it for extra money to support my family. Bacon Bad"

"I told my cheating girlfriend I was studying to become a magician And for my first act, I was disappearing out of her life."

"Yo Mama So Fat... ...it took the Large Hadron Collider to weigh her atoms."

"Geometry Joke. So I was in my Geometry class and my teacher was giving us a ton of homework. So I said to her ""stop being an angle side side."" Edit: thanks hypervelocityvomit."