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Joke of the Day

"You know that confused look that old people get when looking at new technology? I'm like that, but with salad."

"*wakes up from a 10 year coma, pretends to be asleep for an extra 5 minutes*"

"What is the difference between three dicks and a joke? Your mom can't take a joke"

"What do 16 year old boys and drug companies have in common? They are both more worried about getting inside you than being effective once there!"

"What do you call four mexicans drowning? Quattro sinko."

"What did the hamburger say when it pleaded 'not guilty'? I've been flamed!"

"wish hard enough & anything can happen, they say. yet two hours later my stomach growls & my breakfast still isn't making itself. liars!"

"One girl did a presentation in hittites and she went through while presentation... straight faced calling it ""high-titties"" everyone was losing it and she couldn't figure out why."

"If you believe that no great story ever started with someone eating a salad, then you're using the wrong kind of mushrooms."

"If your cat is your ""child,"" I bet its ""grandparents"" are ""sad"""