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Joke of the Day

"The elevators are broken & I work on the 17th floor. Pretty sure I'm the first person ever to use the phone in reception to call in sick."

"What's better than roses on a piano? Tulips on your organ."

"What is a mexican's favorite sport event? Cross country"

"I didn't like my new haircut But then it grew on me"

"I have a bomb. EDIT: This blew up."

"TIFU getting fired from the calendar factory All I did was take a day off."

"Spell ""pound"" in two letters. Lb."

"Kissing is like peeing your pants Everyone can see it but only you can feel the heat"

"Sometimes I get scared robots are going to take over. Then I use a motion-controlled sink."

"Waiter waiter! There's a spider in my soup. Send for the manager! It's no good sir he's frightened of them too."