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Joke of the Day

"Spell ""pound"" in two letters. Lb."

"What do you call a nice Jewish Lyft driver? an Uber Mensch."

"Hi, I'd like a salamus sandwich, please. ""You mean salami?"" No, just a single salamus. ""Um ok, anything else on that?"" Yes, one pepperonus."

"What did the diva with Alzheimer's disease say? **DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM????** (credit to one of the writers from Bob's Burgers)."

"Polish Ice Hockey tragedy The whole team drowned during spring training"

"What does a Mexican duck say? GUACK"

"I got another letter from this lawyer today. It said ""Final Notice""... Good that he will not bother me anymore."

"What's the difference between a lead guitarist and a terrorist? You can actually negotiate with a terrorist."

"What did Rihanna say when asked why she was still with Chris Brown? She shrugged and said ""Beats me!"""

"Soviet Monopoly ""Go to gulag! Go directly to gulag! Do not pass go, do not collect food stamps and vodkac"