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Joke of the Day

"I hate when you tell someone you're bored, and they suggest getting together. Then you have to explain that you're not quite that bored."

"[raises hand during kickboxing lesson] when do we get to kick boxes? [instructor] that's not what we- [me] I just hate boxes so damn much"

"Everyone keeps saying ""0scars r our Olympics!"" O for f*ck sake. And our Pussy Riot is Justin Beiber fighting Shia lebeouf"

"A summer visitor asked the farmer how long cows should be milked. ""Oh I reckon about the same as short ones!"" the farmer answered."

"Two crows are in jail. What are they in for? Attempted Murder"

"What's the difference between a reindeer and a snowball? They're both brown except the snowball."

"My friends always at the gym, so I invited him to a social even for a change. He responds, ""Can't come, they don't allow guns in there. I would have to cut off both my arms"""

"For all of you claiming you have over 100 IQ. How can you possibly score over 100%? I am very pleased with my score of 79."

"What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? If we don't get some support, people will think we're nuts."

"When I grow up I want to make two Rugrats pornos... Rugrats: All Grown Up & Rugrats Go Wild."