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Joke of the Day

"For all of you claiming you have over 100 IQ. How can you possibly score over 100%? I am very pleased with my score of 79."

"What's the difference between Hitler and a marathon runner? The marathon runner can successfully finish a race"

"Your family tree must be a cactus because everybody on it is a prick."

"What do you call a Japanese suicide bomber? Wasabi"

"A doctor gave a man six months to live ... ... The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only 2, but I don't know how they got in there"

"she used to like me. boy: k girl: every kiss begins with k boy: too bad ugly starts with u! girl:... boy: apply cold water to that burn"

"I made my first snowman today... It was so white it's already been nominated to Trump's Cabinet."

"Did you hear the one about the baby with AIDS? It never gets old!"

"I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me."