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Joke of the Day

"[raises hand during kickboxing lesson] when do we get to kick boxes? [instructor] that's not what we- [me] I just hate boxes so damn much"

"Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow"

"Why wouldn't Dolores let William eat the corn? Because the maize isn't meant for him."

"[couple tossing baby back and forth] [music stops] judge: custody granted dad: [holding baby] AW DAMMIT"

"What does Green Day say before bed? Green night"

"I had to break up with my Chinese girlfriend... An hour after eating her, I was horny again."

"What's a butcher's favorite city? Cleaveland"

"My mom once told me.... ....the only way I'll ever get laid is if I crawl up a chicken's ass and wait."

"There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns--maybe one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."

"The first rule of Mormon fight flub is go door to door talking about Mormon fight club ."