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Joke of the Day

"Social networking has become a club. Twitter is the dance floor. Instagram is the bar and Facebook is the people crying in the bathroom."

"""..so that's the story of Christmas. Questions?"" Where do turtledoves come from? ""Well, when a turtle and a dove really love each other.."""

"I only drink to forget that my 4 year old daughter has an iPad Touch and I have to ask for her help when it's my turn to play on it."

"I just realized we cook bacon and bake cookies, get it together English."

"Oscar nominations are out. Let's experience actual emotion about multimillionaires giving each other gold"

"What's Black and Yellow that makes everyone laugh? a school bus full of Negros going off a cliff."

"How many gay guys does it take to flip a car? We'll find out when the cubs win the World Series"

"Knock knock. Who's there? A little old lady. A little old lady who? Wow, I didn't know you could yodel!"

"My psychologist and psychiatrist don't agree on my diagnosis so yes, I get what it's like to have people fighting over me."

"Knock knock. ""Who's there?"" Creepy. ""Creepy who?"" This is a nice bedroom you have."