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Joke of the Day

"Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza."

"Which anti-virus software do pirates prefer? Avast, ye scurvy dogs!"

"Jesus fed 5000 people with one fish. Holy mackerel."

"speak, three languages you are trilingual, two, bi-lingual, what do they call you if you only speak one language? American"

"When people are trending on twitter, I know that they died or said something racist."

"Somebody get me a maple tree ... asap!"

"What did the dyslexic person worship? Santa."

"Poor Will... Everyone's always firing at him. A joke my grandad would use on occasion."

"People are always weirded out when I take notes during episodes of Dexter."

"""Let me put it this way.."" ~gist of Kamasutra"