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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an English pig and a French pig? A French pig goes, ""Oui! Oui! Oui!"" all the way home."

"Our son came home one day with a note from his first grade teacher: Your son bit another boy today. Is he getting enough to eat at home ?"

"[Dad jokes anonymous] ""...and I'm clean 30 days"" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD ""DAMN IT, JERRY!"""

"I'm definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit."

"Things that just weren't meant to be heated in a microwave: lettuce, mustaches, avocados, sarcasm, other microwaves, oranges. And that's it."

"Come to the Dark Side... We have Girl Scouts! ... I mean, we have Brownies! ... Dang it, I mean, we have COOKIES"

"I was gonna say a joke about the disabled, but... it was lame."

"What's the scariest thing a blind person can read in Braille? ""Danger: Do not touch"""

"What do you call someone aroused by shopping? A buysexual"

"People who learned a bunch of stuff must've felt pretty stupid when Wikipedia came out."