52013

Joke of the Day

"[Dad jokes anonymous] ""...and I'm clean 30 days"" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD ""DAMN IT, JERRY!"""

"Today in 1775, Jane Austen was born. She wrote ""Sense & Sensibility,"" ""Pride & Prejudice,"" and ""Lust & Lunchables."""

"Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it"

"Where do some popes get their vestments? Urban Outfitters"

"My girlfriend just got a job as a circumcision doctor The base pay isn't the best but boy does she get a lot of tips!"

"Waldo is probably horrible at responding to texts."

"Yes, I'm a professor. I teach intercourse 101 and my wife is the only student. She's getting a D"

"Someone snuck aboard the Death Star and stabbed Darth Vader with a lightsaber. It was a space in Vader."

"""911, what is your emergency?"" Yes I can't hear my television ""Sir, this is not an emer-"" Someone keeps screaming ""HELP ME!!"" next door"

"And this pickup line is broght to you by Budweiser.... And this pickup line is broght to you by Budweiser: ---Budweiser: and who do we have here, standing so pretty and so quiet?"