162995

Joke of the Day

"Come to the Dark Side... We have Girl Scouts! ... I mean, we have Brownies! ... Dang it, I mean, we have COOKIES"

"Why do weathermen name hurricanes after women? Because when they come they're wet and wild and when they leave they take your house and car with them."

"My family tree is a cactus, we're all pricks."

"Q. Where is the best place in a book store to find a man who is handsome a good lover and a stimulating partner? A. In the pages of a romance novel."

"The earthquake shortened Earth's day by 1.8 microseconds, so don't expect me to get everything done this week."

"Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans? So people can read her lips."

"My wife claims that I treat one of our kids unfairly. ""Which one?"" I replied, ""Chris Jr, or the girl one?"""

"""I made $200.05 giving BJ's to people yesterday."" ""Who gave you a nickel?"" ""Everyone did."""

"You know you're getting old when the kids start referring to your savings as their inheritance."

"Hey baby, I'm like Fred Flintstone I can really make your bed-rock. Also I live in a cave and don't have any electricity"