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Joke of the Day

"Our son came home one day with a note from his first grade teacher: Your son bit another boy today. Is he getting enough to eat at home ?"

"A local farmer just received an award from the city. It was for being outstanding in his field."

"I enjoy a glass of Wine each night for it's health benefits! The rest of the bottle is for my flawless dance moves, and to make you look more appealling!"

"What happened to the blind circumciser? He got the sack."

"I can almost always tell if a movie doesn't use Real dinosaurs.."

"My mum's bf hates when I shorten his name to 'Dick'. Mainly because his name is Matthew."

"Tanning Blondes Two blondes walk into a tanning salon. The receptionist asks Are you two sisters? They laughed and replied, No we're not even Catholic."

"Who needs viagra when there are pictures of old women with dyed orange hair and their eyebrows penciled in on the internet"

"Just hired a cat sitter to sit on my cat."

"What's the difference between toilet paper and a shower curtain? ""I don't know."" ""So you're the one!"""