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Joke of the Day

"The greatest trick the devil ever played was offering a buy one get one free sale one day after you already purchased two at regular price."

"I'm in favor of spanking children. Their parents are not."

"""haha! silly rabbit! trix are for-"" *rabbit puts a gun to the kids head* who are they for billy. tell me again who they're for"

"I wish I were as attractive to women as I am to mosquitoes."

"Meanwhile, in mid-2015 A Google Glass wearer and an Apple Watch wearer are arguing in a bar over who looks like a huger idiot."

"Why is Tylenol white? Because it works"

"Spidy nonsense Sometimes I feel like spider man. Once I had Gwen Stacy, now I just have Mary Jane."

"I bought a book on eBay called, ""How to scam on eBay"". That was 2 months ago, and it's not arrived yet"

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"I told my dog to heel... So he went to the hospital and did all he could."