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Joke of the Day

"Asked a vegetarian if she'd heard this song, then remembered vegos are too weak to turn on radios and way too busy playing with their lutes."

"There's something about pressing F5... Thats just so refreshing"

"So, when I wear my phone clipped to my belt & a fanny pack, I'm a douche.nnBatman does it & it's a bad-ass utility belt. nnnDouble standard."

"What happened when the slave put his head into a lions mouth to count how many teeth he had ? The lion closed its mouth to see how many heads the slave had !"

"I have seen you with no filter, and I still adore you."

"When life gives you lemons....a simple operation can give you melons. All the joke is in the title, so you can save that click."

"What is a horses favourite TV show? Neeeebours"

"My mother-in-law's text alert is an entire song. Starting to think my father-in-law's rage isn't really from Vietnam."

"Now that the german sense of humor has been acknowledged internationally, we can be sure of one thing... ...next world war is going to be *hilarious*."

"There's a man walking a tight rope. 100ft below him there's a man getting a blowjob from an 80 year old woman. What are they both thinking? Don't look down."