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Joke of the Day

"""haha! silly rabbit! trix are for-"" *rabbit puts a gun to the kids head* who are they for billy. tell me again who they're for"

"You know what's been making headlines? Corduroy pillows"

"I called the Muslim suicide hotline but they kept asking me if I can fly a plane."

"Bear of bad news: Hey, sport. You might wanna be sitting down. Ready? Oh god how do I put this? I'm gonna have to maul the shit out of you."

"Never give a Roman a high five. Or he'll give you a HIV."

"Why isn't Christmas spelled Christmals? Because Noel."

"Spent $200 on a Chinese hooker and was horny again an hour later"

"What does a plumber call screwing his wife [NSFW] Servicing the dishwasher"

"Babies are 60% water, I can walk on babies, therefore I am 60% jesus"

"Big shoutout to the lazy, seven year old idiot who named Red Delicious apples."