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Joke of the Day

"When a celebrity dies, who's the helpful psychopath that immediately changes all the ""is""s to ""was""s on their Wikipedia page?"

"I had issues with my wireless mouse... ...so i got a cable cat and now my problems are solved"

"I couldn't believe it yesterday, when I came home and was told by my wife that my 5-year-old son wasn't actually mine. She says that I need to pay more attention when picking him up from school..."

"Would love to see a reality show where they promise the prize will ""change contestants lives FOREVER""...and it's a brain swap with a cow."

"Who was the first striker? Jesus. He went for the cross"

"What do you call a picture of Simon Pegg's brother? JPEG"

"He died doing what he loved, waving a metal rod on a rooftop in a storm, yelling FU, GOD! Although he slipped & fell, Ted's memory lives on."

"I hate it when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I'm not even an actor."

"How come you never write e-mails? I'd rather send a note!"

"Thirty years ago, Marco Rubio was bitten by a radioactive doormat."