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Joke of the Day
"Who was the first striker? Jesus. He went for the cross"
Next Joke
"Three girls were waiting for their periods ..."
"When someone says ""Happy New Years"" I wonder, how many years are they talking about?"
"Got a pretty bad burn on my arm. I was putting a pie in the oven & my dad came up behind me & put a cigarette out on my arm."
"What is the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer? The taste."
"When I was a kid I asked my Dad if Abraham Lincoln was jewish. ""Well,"" he said, ""he was shot in his temple."""
"True Story: A guy at the supermarket walked up to me today and asked me if I was on twitter. I said no. If you're reading this, I lied."
"Truth in advertising #1: Burger King- Your actually having it our way, and our way consists of making you fat."
"A friend told me I take twitter way too seriously. Don't worry, I unfollowed her."
"The cheese grader saw me walk in the house with a bag of shredded cheddar and shit got real awkward."