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Joke of the Day

"How come you never write e-mails? I'd rather send a note!"

"I'm lactose intolerant, too. Do the pills work for you? It's a crap shoot."

"my 2 yr old today: Mom how'd you get past the cognitivie dissonance of having me even tho climate change will render the world uninhabitable"

"Why didn't the dog speak to his foot ? Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw !"

"What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair gets in the way."

"Q: How do the Dallas Cowboys spend their first week at spring training? A: Studying their Miranda Rights."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten-tickles!"

"Who was the roundest knight at the King Arthur's round table? Sir Cumference"

"2 Rules to Be Successful 1) Don't tell everyone everything you know. 2)"

"What do you call someone who has ancestry back to China but is a 2nd generation US citizen and is a professional bodybuilder? Ben Ching."