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Joke of the Day

"I had issues with my wireless mouse... ...so i got a cable cat and now my problems are solved"

"Mom wants me to have a baby girl with blonde hair and blue eyes.And I want a sane mother who isn't oblivious to my Italian bloodline."

"Everyone prepare yourself for National ""How is it May already?"" Day coming up tomorrow where people who don't know how calendars work tweet."

"Why are pharmaceutical chemists considered such studs? They're able to make a fun-gal cream."

"eer booze and fun!' '""Didja hear the news?"" asked Keenan of his pal at the saloon. ""Harrigan drank so much his wife left him!"" ""Bartender! Give me six boilermakers!!"""

"Want to hear a joke about pizza? Never mind, it's probably too cheesy."

"Instead of pulling people over for texting, the police should be out there pulling people over for not texting me back."

"I paid for my meal at McDonald's with love. [NSFW] I pulled out some money and the cashier was like, ""no, let me see you fuck this Big Mac instead."""

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to, too! Hey Reddit! What is your favorite Mitch Hedburg joke?"

"Why doesn't china have casinos? Because they hate Tibet."