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Joke of the Day

"Thirty years ago, Marco Rubio was bitten by a radioactive doormat."

"What was Trump's reaction to the petition for him to release his tax returns Not my precedent"

"A Freudian slip? That's where you think one thing but fuck your mother."

"What happened to the trapeze artist that did drugs on the job? He got suspended."

"The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong."

"Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead."

"Time zones are crazy On new years eve some parts of the world are in 2017, some are in 2016, and a large portion of the U.S. is still stuck in 1940."

"If you are scared of pedophiles Grow up."

"When Donald Trump talks about wanting to help 'the little guy' -- -- he means he needs a prescription for viagra."

"I asked a Scottish friend of mine how many sexual partners he'd had. He started counting but fell asleep. Edit: WOW my top post is now a bestiality joke. Thanks guys :)"