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Joke of the Day

"I say no to alcohol, it just doesn't listen."

"There was a computer dating back to Adam and Eve.. It was an apple, and a very bad one at that. It only took one byte for everything to crash."

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. LADDER. I MEANT LADDER!"

"You know what gets me down? Gravity..."

"Party Questions by age 1-12: Will there be a Bouncy House? 17-20: Will there be alcohol? 22-27: Theres no kids right? 30+ Who's bday is it?"

"How can you tell if a mechanic went home for lunch? One of his fingers is clean"

"Q: Why did the little girl bury her flashlight? A: Her batteries were dead."

"A farmer in Nebraska just had his fence destroyed by a tornado, and he's asking for our help I'm doing my part!"

"Lindt chocolate... .....is to die for."

"isaac newtown got hit in the head & invented calculus. i broke my nose last night when I was drunk & invented a louder version of crying."