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Joke of the Day

"Party Questions by age 1-12: Will there be a Bouncy House? 17-20: Will there be alcohol? 22-27: Theres no kids right? 30+ Who's bday is it?"

"I wonder what my future wife is doing right now.. Hopefully modeling."

"Brussel sprouts are like blow jobs If you get 'em forced down your throat young you'll never have a taste for them when you're older"

"I'm constantly amazed at how different my twin daughters are. Lisa is so much more positive & confident than her sister Hog Face."

"A lion would never (Old joke) A Lion would never cheat on its wife but a Tiger wood."

"My Girlfriend always says I never know when to quit joking, and to that I say... ""GOT YOUR NOSE"""

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? Because he was a fungi. And... Why did the fungi leave the party? Because there wasn't much room."

"Ever wonder where people got their surnames from? Mr. Baker was probably a baker. Mr. Butcher might have been a butcher. ...then there's Mr. Dickinson."

"What do you call a Mexican hooker who doesn't charge any money? Fritatas"

"If you don't know the difference between there, their, and they're... Your a moron."