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Joke of the Day

"LPT: Play the Game of Thrones theme tune before you have sex if there is a risk of being overheard. Got me and my SO through the recent family stay overs during the festive season."

"I never thought a fleshlight would feel like the real thing, but last night I got drunk and totally tried it. And I have to say, it was a pretty good fucksimilie."

"I ceaselessly seek validation from strangers. No joke, but that's why there would be a joke in the first place."

"Why were the inventors of the airplane correct in thinking they could fly? Because they were Wright."

"Winnie the Pooh band-aids may look cute but are useless on stab wounds."

"I called one of those numbers in the bathroom stall and my wife answered. Very funny guys."

"How many cocks does it take to make your mother cry? None!"

"Why was the programmer lonely? Off-by-one error. :("

"What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms? One's a Goodyear. The other's a *great* year."

"Yeah, but is it Tyrannosauri Rex or Tyrannosaurus Rexes? *The Jehovahs Witness slams my own door in my face"