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Joke of the Day

"Fat goths are morbidly obese."

"Why was the vampire's girlfriend mad at him? Because she couldn't finish her sentences. Why couldn't she finish her sentences? He kept eating her periods."

"Things look 'a whole lot brighter in the morning' because of the sun. They still suck."

"mad gf How do you know when your girlfriend is mad at you? She leaves the string in the Bloody Mary"

"What do you a great Jewish cook Hitler"

"SURGEON (who is an octopus): scalpel NURSE: [sweating trying to figure out what arm to hand it to] yup one second"

"What did the Nazi officer say when he was captured? It's not me; it's Jew."

"New Year's resolution is to stop drinking. Dies of thirst."

"I figure that its safe to ask. How are those New Year's resolutions going?"

"Trump winning the election I did nazi that coming"