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Joke of the Day

"Why is singing like autoerotic asphyxiation? Because sometimes you just gotta belt it out"

"Computer does what you command him to do but not what you want from him."

"I wish I could be like Wall Street Seems to be in bed with a lot of people these days!"

"I'm not saying that girl's a slut... But she has touched more wieners than Heinz ketchup."

"Nuff said? No seriously, what did Nuff say?"

"Did you know that before James Gandolfini suggested the name ""The Sopranos,"" HBO had planned to call it ""The Lasagnas?"""

"Did you hear about the proctologist who had a car accident? It rectum."

"A guy is talking with his friend Edward... ...and asks him: -What do dead and black people have in common? -Well, I don't know. -They both get a rest, Ed."

"Her: Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with? Me: One who knows how to fix elevators."

"*gives up seat on bus for an old lady* *whispers in her ear* ""This isn't over"""