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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the proctologist who had a car accident? It rectum."
Next Joke
"[hours after first date] HER: *on phone* yeah i went on the date but he was creepy. *i'm just sitting outside her bedroom window in shock*"
"Adding ""family"" to words sucks out all the fun: Vacation? Family vacation. Car? Family car. Movie? Family movie. Affair? Family affair."
"How do you greet a gay Hispanic? Homo Estas!"
"What fruits do vampires eat? Blood oranges."
"The people in the room next door are definitely just furiously making their bed. Nothing more. NOTHING MORE."
"How many unemployed actors does it take to change a light bulb? (fixed) 100. 1 to change it and 99 to stand around and complain about how they coulda done a better job."
"Why don't people get married in North Korea? Well, all marriages are legal in North Korea, but no one has them because there's no rice to throw."
"""hoes before hos"" --the belief that your garden's needs should always come before your bitch's."
"I like my coffee how I like my women... Cold and bitter"