449

Joke of the Day

"I'm not saying that girl's a slut... But she has touched more wieners than Heinz ketchup."

"HER: my dad hates puns but loves food ME: got it HER: dad, this my date ME: hey papaya yam glad to meat u HIM: *shakes then crushes my hand*"

"7yr old: What's 10+10+10+25+25+5+1+1? Me: Math"

"Why was the Planters employee fired? He was fucking nuts."

"Both my son and daughter love reddit. That must mean it's heredditary."

"I don't trust stairs... They always look like they're up to something."

"I went to see a psychic today She said she was expecting me"

"Swim up bars combine my two favorite things. Drinking and peeing in hotel pools."

"Reddit's biggest April Fool's Day Joke Yet http://i.imgur.com/aT7QoyW.png"

"A seal walks into a club. The end."