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Joke of the Day

"No matter what amazing things you accomplish or how fantastic you are, a cat will always think it is better than you."

"People who use the wrong words sometimes should have the humidity to admit it."

"If I was a smart thief, do you know what I would rob? A book store."

"After all these years, I can tell my wife still cares for me... Whenever she has an orgasm, she calls to let me know."

"A dyslexic man walks in to a bra..."

"I didn't know what I was missing until I dated a vampire. They always beg you to let them swallow."

"It ain't harassment if... Her ass meant to be slapped"

"Just walked in on Mark Zuckerberg writing down the contents of my medicine cabinet."

"Here's the thing about women: it's really hard to write a good joke about them."

"What is the meaning of trust? A cannibal giving you a blowjob"