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Joke of the Day

"After all these years, I can tell my wife still cares for me... Whenever she has an orgasm, she calls to let me know."

"I want a car horn that shouts obscenities."

"If you're cold, stand in the corner It's usually 90 degrees"

"I bet Abraham Lincoln would rather go watch another play than watch this debate."

"Knock knock! (A joke from my 5 year old sister) Knock knock! Who's there? Boo Boo who? Don't cry it's only a joke! ...I got rekt"

"Baby momma drama doesn't exist in the middle east.... Baby Bomba drama however"

"dispatch: we have a home invasion robbery in progress on the far side of the lake rowboat cop: *grabs oar* I'll be there in 6 hours"

"Have you heard about Trumps plan for Mexicans [Removed]"

"Excuse my french... ...but I surrender."

"Only ten more American gun massacres until christmas"