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Joke of the Day

"Here's the thing about women: it's really hard to write a good joke about them."

"The value of money in a relationship: the 10 bucks that the wife and the tax inspection don't know about are worth more than the 100 that both know about."

"Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn't work. Help forum: Should've had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now."

"5 minutes into watching willy wonka and the chocolate factory and I'm craving chocolate This is why I can't watch breaking bad"

"I asked my mom why I had to go to singing lessons. She told me it was a skill I needed to a choir."

"It's not often that one gets the opportunity to speak about someone intelligent, respected and admired. Unfortunately tonight I have to talk about (NAME)."

"Did you hear about the man who got cooled to absolute zero? He's OK now."

"This man's dad was an atheist. Told me he was a god damned mother fucker."

"The Australian Cricket Team."

"So is tomorrow the day Trump & all his supporters say ""April Fools!"" & we get our country back?"