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Joke of the Day
"I didn't know what I was missing until I dated a vampire. They always beg you to let them swallow."
Next Joke
"I was lost in the desert, out in the distance I thought I saw Nicki Minaj, when I ran up to her... She ended up being a Nicki Mirage"
"I never try to make guests feel at home. If they wanted to feel at home, they should have stayed there."
"I just ate some pasta... ...and it was worth every Penne. ^(My god, that must be the worst joke I've ever written.)"
"""Trump is a good businessman"" He has a failed steak biz, a failed vodka biz & failed casinos. HOW DO YOU SCREW UP STEAK, VODKA & GAMBLING"
"Hump day without humping is significantly less fun."
"Ben Carson: Health care is not a right. Trump: We're not gonna just let people die in the streets! Carson: Oh you're so hippocratical!"
"I'm not getting the earth anything for Earth Day since it's not going to be around much longer anyway."
"Whats the best thing about being addicted to speed? Only one more sleep until Christmas!"
"Can't we just sit and drink somewhere until they build a bar around us?"