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Joke of the Day

"Ask yourself what you would do for one more day with the ones you've lost and then do those things for the ones you still have."

"How many Freudian psychologists does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2: One to screw in the bulb, and one to hold the penis... LADDER, I MEAN LADDER!"

"Did you know that Davy Crockett had three ears? His left ear, his right ear, and his wild frontier."

"My Jewish friend invited me to go to his camp. Fuck that."

"Can we stop calling it 'Breaking news' and start calling it 'bloody hell what now'"

"Did you hear about the witch who was ashamed of her long black hair? She always wore long gloves to cover it up."

"Steps to survive on a dessert island: 1. check spelling 2. if correct, enjoy"

"What has 1 hand, 3 legs, 6 feet, and 2 heads? The finish line at the Boston Marathon."

"Siri, make me pancakes. You have a Blackberry, Linda. Go home, Linda, you're drunk."

"I have a joke. Me."