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Joke of the Day

"Did you know that Davy Crockett had three ears? His left ear, his right ear, and his wild frontier."

"What is Santa saying to Mrs. Claus right now? I told you it would rain, dear."

"Who delievers elephants's Christmas presents? Elephanta Claus !"

"I tried to cross a redneck with a golden retriever... All I got was a dirty look from the golden retriever."

"Did anyone else witness that jet crashing into the ocean? It was plane to sea."

"If you mean sleeping, then yes, I'm pretty freakin' amazing in bed."

"What do you call a hooker who works for spaghetti? A pastatute!"

"Give a dog a bone and you've made a friend for the day, teach a dog to bone and you'll have friends for life."

"Have you heard about this? It's a pronoun used to identify a specific person or thing."

"[first date] her: so are you a dog or cat person? me: *long dramatic pause* well... i'm almost positive that i'm just a normal person..?"