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Joke of the Day

"Could you imagine being the Secret Service agent that blocked a bullet for Donald Trump, 20 years later? You wouldn't tell anyone."

"""Mommy, I don't want to see grandma today!"" ""Shut up and keep digging."""

"Knock knock Who's there? Owls. Owls who? .................. Exactly!"

"Dear sneeze, if you're gonna happen, happen. Don't put a stupid look on my face and then just leave."

"Why don't pedophiles win marathons? They're always coming in a little behind.."

"What did the dog say to the tree... You've got a lot of bark, but no bite.."

"For a ski team, these guys in the 7-11 sure have a lot of guns!"

"How do you stop black kids from jumping on the bed? Put velcro on the ceiling."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly I can't jam my cock up your ass"

"My analyst says I anthropomorphize... but It's only a problem when I do it to people."