65068

Joke of the Day

"Vegans think they will live longer than us, but they don't realize they are 100 times more likely to be murdered mid conversation."

"My fiancee asked me why I always back into parking spots... I told her ""guys typically want to just pull out"". She was not amused."

"What do you call a women who has had a lot of sex? Her name #Feminist jokes"

"[explaining twitter to my mom] Everyone is mad about something all the time and I'm a cartoon"

"What's the derivative of Amazon? Amazon Prime"

"TRUE FRIENDSHIP: Walking into a persons house and your wifi connects automatically."

"What do you call a bag of tiny crosses? Jesus Pieces."

"I've set my phone to airplane mode to add more realism to the nausea and turbulence I experience at work."

"What does a cat call its black best friend? Its Maine Coon."

"What do you call a Spanish midget? A paragraph. Because he's not a full essay."