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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Spanish midget? A paragraph. Because he's not a full essay."

"I always blurt out, ""SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FRIEND"" in my best Al Pacino Scarface accent when I stand next to a stranger at a urinal."

"I asked 100 women which shampoo they preferred? . . . . . The top ans was . . . . . GET the hell outta of my bathroom!"

"I came last in a karate competition yesterday I was kicking myself!"

"I just want a woman that will look out for me while I'm shaking the vending machine"

"My girlfriend doesn't know this, but I put a dollar in an envelope every time we have sex. That's all I'm spending on her for Christmas. So far, she's only getting a McChicken."

"I'm tired of this long distance relationship! Time to move the liquor cabinet to the living room!"

"Guy walks into an amusement park ... and sees a big sign that reads, ""Three balls 25"" So he walks up to the lady behind the counter, pulls down his pants and says, ""Ok, gimme a quarter."""

"4: Let's hunt turkeys, Daddy. Me: How do we do that? 4: Put up a big sign that says, ""Come here, Turkeys!"" I might be raising Elmer Fudd."

"How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry her."