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Joke of the Day
"[explaining twitter to my mom] Everyone is mad about something all the time and I'm a cartoon"
Next Joke
"Me: You'll always be my girl. Daughter: Even if I break stuff? Me: Depends on which stuff."
"How do rabbits fly? In hareplanes."
"Look out man! You know the difference between driving in the fog and 69ing is? You can't see the asshole in front of you driving in the fog."
"Saw an accident on the highway today that made me feel like a short-sighted man in a strip club... I couldn't see much but there was definitely a semi involved."
"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I am forever in your debt."
"Someone asked me to stop singing wonderwall I said maybe"
"The baby in the car next to me is either unable to control his arms or hes throwing me gang signs. Im not taking any chances. *locks doors*"
"Why was the ginger declined when he tried to sell his soul to the devil? Insufficient funds."
"What do you call an Arab who flies a plane? A pilot, you racist motherfucker."