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Joke of the Day

"Please do not power off or unplug your machine. Installing update 45 of 9484727192873828277362517293847265127826262827262726273633833727..."

"I'm an old guy, and I fuck at least 3 super hot girls in their mid 20's every week I'm a student loan collector"

"Why don't cats play poker in the jungle... ...theres too many cheet-ahs"

"Just finished leg day with my new trainer and now I need to replace the stairs in my house with an elevator. Or shower in the kitchen sink?"

"Interviewer : So you're super fast at math? Me : Yup I : Ok, what's 346x48? Me : 804 I : That's not correct Me : Fast though."

"I'm No Gynaecologist... ...but I know a cunt when I see one."

"How does a vagina tell time? With a twatch"

"The most significant change brought about in the 2ist century is the decline of photographers and photography studios. They've both been replaced.... By camera phones and bathrooms."

"Rules are like a penis You can bend it as much as you want, but if you break it, you're fucked."

"What's a Jewish girl's favorite wine? ""I want to go to Miami!"""