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Joke of the Day

"Please do not power off or unplug your machine. Installing update 45 of 9484727192873828277362517293847265127826262827262726273633833727..."

"Why does SnoopDogg carry an umbrella? Fo' Drizzle!"

"I need a way to keep fit that will make me look like a crazy person so no one will approach me while I do it. -inventor of powerwalking"

"I felt sorry for the hypnotist.... I saw last night. He hypnotized 7 guys... then dropped the mic on his foot and yelled ""FUCK ME!"" What happened next will haunt me the for the rest of my life..."

"My ex-wife was a great housekeeper... she kept the house after the divorce."

"I took a picture of the fog with my new iPhone 7.... iMist"

"What did T say to reassure V? ""Don't worry. I'm right behind U."""

"Why does Karl Marx not take milk in his tea? Because proper tea is theft."

"Dear Life, I have a complete grasp on the fact that you are not fair... so please quit teaching me that lesson."

"When I get my paycheck I turn into Gollum from 'The Lord of the Rings'."