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Joke of the Day

"How does a vagina tell time? With a twatch"

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"""My Ex is amazing in all ways. My Ex is smarter, more successful, and more attractive than I am."" - bumper sticker I put on my Ex's car"
"My phone keeps going missing Serves me right for leaving it on airplane mode"
"I'm trying get a job as a geometry teacher... Because I want to make at least 6 figures."
"I remain convinced that the only people who can gracefully sprint in stilettos are prostitutes."
"I accidentally ate too much alphabet soup yesterday and had a huge vowel movement."
"Why was the piano teacher arrested? He kept fingering A minor."
"Did you hear about Michael Vicks new shoe contract? Hush Puppies."
"I used to have a lot of sex... Then my VR headset broke."
"Lightbulbs in Magaluf What type of lightbulbs go clubbing in Magaluf*? LEDs (*Note for any US viewers Magaluf is a popular destination in Spain for Brits that go on massive drinking/clubbing holidays)"